What if?

 

I needed baby Ayla last night. 

I seem to be able to sleep a lot better when I am holding a Baby. This picture was taken in December 2006. The grandchild in this picture is getting ready to graduate this year. So it is hard to remember her being this little. 

I’m not much for babies. I really like them a whole lot more when we can do stuff or better yet, when we can get into some kind of mischief together. LOL! But, if you give me a sleeping baby, I’m all in!

Last night, my mind was not able to shut down. My thoughts were filled with WHAT IF’s! I wouldn’t say I was worried, but I was thinking about WHAT IF this happens, or WHAT IF that happens. Then my mind works through all the possible scenarios and I try to solve all the WHAT IF’s, my decisions, and all the problems of the world while I am supposed to be sleeping. Yep, I needed baby Ayla to put me to sleep last night!

When you are trying hard to do the will of the Father and you are put in charge of a “FLOCK” of people, you have some sleepless nights worrying and praying for them. I really would not say I was worried last night, but I was definitely going through all possible future scenarios we could face over the next several weeks and months. I was filled with thoughts on how different scenarios would impact, my family, my friends, and yes, my flock! Not one of these events has happened or is even close to happening. One of my favorite scriptures talks about my flock:

“Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly — not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor….

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:2-4,6,7)

So, as my mind was whirling 100mph last night, thinking about scenarios and what if’s, I had a “come to Jesus moment.” (I need my sleep! LOL) I finally got to the point of exhaustion and said, “Ok Lord, I do not know what is going to happen tonight, tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next year or the rest of my life, But I TRUST YOU to do what is best for all my family, friends, and FLOCK! They are really not mine anyway, they are yours! Just guide my path and their path in a way that will point everyone back to you. 

And guess what happened? 

I went to sleep!

I had a wonderfully restful sleep, just like I get when I am holding a baby in my arms, sleeping on the couch. Thank you Lord!

While I was reading Mark 9 this morning and reading this scripture:

“”What do you mean , ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. ‘Anything is possible if a person believes.’ The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief.” (Mark 9:23-24)

God reminded me that I cannot solve a single WHAT IF involving my family, friends and my flock in the middle of the night. I need to turn it all over to the Heavenly Father. I need to rest in the arms of Jesus just like baby Ayla rested in my arms. In his power, he already knows what is going to happen and has figured out how to use all things for his glory and to fulfill his plans. 

Oh, Lord, forgive me when I try to solve the world’s problems in bed at night. Help me to trust in you, to sleep in your arms like a new born baby, even when my faith is weak! I love you Lord! Amen!