It's not about ME -- It's about what God is doing IN ME and THROUGH ME!

 

I have realized, after righting sermons WEEKLY for the first time in my life, I talk a lot about myself and my life. I debate whether that is a bad thing or a good thing. As I was on my trip to Denver the topic of Narcissism came up on several occasions. I don't think the discussion was directed at me, but sometimes I think I have some of those narcissistic tendencies and the term definitely gets some pretty negative press. Here is the definition:

"Narcissism - someone exhibiting an excessive self-centeredness, a grandiose sense of self-importance, and a need for admiration, often with a lack of empathy for others. This can manifest in a variety of ways, including arrogance, a belief in one's own uniqueness, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain. "

Some parts of this fit me. I do often experience a need to be admired. I want to know I am doing well and doing the right thing. I also believe in my own uniqueness. God made me unique and I am certainly proud of that fact. It is the rest of this definition that bothers me. I believe I am important, but that is through the power of God that I receive my value. I certainly don't believe I am extreme in my thoughts. I hope and pray I am known for empathy with others, especially those that don't have that personal relationship with Jesus. I also hope I am not viewed as arrogant and I would be devastated if I was known for exploiting others. 

I have thought about this topic since someone suggested a book "When Narcissism comes to Church." I placed it on my reading list, but have not read it. AND today I was thinking about it in terms of the Apostle Paul. He talked about himself as often as I do. BUT, in his defense he always attributes WHO HE IS to JESUS. I pray I do that same thing.

"As the Jewish leaders are well aware, I was given a thorough Jewish training from my earliest childhood among my own people and in Herusalem. If they would admit it, they know tha I ahve been a member of the Pharisees, the strictest sect of our religion. Now I am on trial because of my hope in the fulfillment of God's promise made to our ancestors." (Acts 26:4-6, NLT)

As Paul defends himself, he gives a rather powerful list of credentials. He had the right to brag about his upbringing. Is that narcissistic? No, and judge me on my defense. I am proud who I am. I am proud because of what GOD IS DOING THROUGH ME, not what I have done for myself. That is what Paul has always proclaimed and that is my proclamation as well.

I truly believe that is the difference. I know that it is God that has brought me safe thus far and it is HE who will bring me home. Someone said, this week, that Pastors have to be a little narcissistic. I think that is true if you mean we often share what God has done through US and cannot get beyond the fact that GOD is using even me! 

"I am a special messenger from Christ Jesus to you Gentiles. I bring you the Good News so that I might present you as an acceptable offering to God, made holy by the Holy Spirit. So I have reason to be enthusiastic about all Christ Jesus has done through me in my service to God. Yet I dare not boast about anything except what Christ has done through me, bringing the Gentiles to God by my message and by the way  I worked among them. (Romans 15:16-18, NLT)

I do not preach about me to proclaim how great I am. I preach about what GOD HAS DONE through me and I will not apologize for WHO I AM IN CHRIST!