Holding Grudges?

 

How are you at holding grudges?

If you mean by holding a grudge that I wish harm or wish evil against someone, I do not hold grudges in that since. My way to "hold a grudge," if that is what you want to call it, is the distance myself from someone. There are many people in my life that I have had conflict with and my theory of dealing with these people is to just not hang out with them. I wouldn't say I avoid them. If we met, I would be cordial, I would greet them, but I would not spend a lot of time or even attempt to build a relationship with them. I can't say I pray for them every day, because most of them don't even come to mind until I think of them like I am today.

I was reading the final story of Esau and Jacob this morning in Genesis 33. In this scene, Jacob and Esau meet for the first time since Esau vowed to kill Jacob. It really is a pleasant scene of reconciliation. There was weeping between the two brothers and I think it is fair to say they no longer held a grudge toward each other. But, beyond this incident, they only see each other one more time. In Genesis 35 after their father dies, we are told they buried Isaac together. That is the last time we know they were together. 

We can tell Jacob has not completely gotten over the events of their youth because of this part of the story:

"Please, my lord, go ahead of your servant. We will follow slowly, at a pace that is comfortable for the livestock and the children. I will meet you at Seir. 'All right, ' Esau said, 'but at least let me assign some of my men to guide and protect you.' Jacob responded, 'That's not necessary. It's enough that you've received my warmly, my lord!' So Esau turned around and started back to Seir that same day. Jacob, on the other hand, traveled to Succoth." (Genesis 33:14-17a, NLT)

Did you catch what Jacob did? He committed to GOING TO SEIR but instead left to go to SUCCOTH INSTEAD. We really don't know why. It looks to me that Jacob still did not trust Esau and certainly not enough to follow him to his own home. Was there reason for the mistrust? Was this another of Jacob's deceptive moves? We won't really know. But we do know they are able to come together once again to bury their father when he passes. We will just have to say that they truly did reconcile but chose to not interact with each other. I have kind of mixed emotions about that. Is it true reconciliation if you never really interact again. 

I have some former teacher colleagues that I have long since gotten over the way they treated Stephanie and I the last years of our teaching career. I realized that what was meant for bad was used by God for our good and I truly praise God for all those events because it has brought me to a deeper relationship with Jesus. But, I wonder how I would react meeting them again at some point in the future. I don't really know. I pray, I would be gracious and loving and kind and conciliatory, just like ESAU. 

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful you do not hold grudges against us. I am so thankful that even in your forgiveness, you do not reject us, but ecen draw nearer to us. You have given us the example how to reconcile. May I always follow that example. You have called me to love my enemies and I ask your help in always honoring that with more than words. Thank you Lord, for your love and kindness. Thank you for loving us even when we are unlovely. In your name, Lord Jesus I pray, AMEN!

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